With a gleeful squeal, she tapped a few keys on her computer, bringing herself to the Posting Board of the Slayer's Fanfic Archive. Taking a long swig of her Sprite (number three that night) for strength (and a caffeine boost) she quickly began to type.
"Robyn has an idea. Run and Hide!"......
A Few Days Later...........
Ten brave fanfic writers lounged around the room, waiting for the writer to come in. They ranged from the very cream of the Archive to the lowliest Board Lurker. The Archive Mistress herself sat in the swivel chair, pushing herself around happily with one foot. The writer made an entrance, which meant that she tried to come in inobtrusely, but tripped over MeK's shoes and landed on Stone Cold. Both Jeanie and Joel ran over to help up the rather clumsy writer (and to rescue Stone Cold) but tripped over TJ Thwaites, who had fallen asleep on the floor about twenty minutes ago. Waking up, TJ was confused and had a flashback to a frat party, and flipped out. In his haste to aid those trapped in this ball of humanity, Violater bumped into Kirbyclause, who had been watching all of this with arrogant amusement. At seeing his arch nemesis, Kirby assumed a Kung Fu fighting stance, and Violater pulled a switchblade out of his coat pocket. Mediancat, who up until now had been sitting in a corner listening to his walkman, suddenly jumped up to his feet and began to enthusiastically belt out the lyrics to a song, while doing some odd little dance moves that brought to mind Xander on the Bronze dance floor. Anya missed all of this, enthralled as she was in seeing if she could catch a piece of popcorn in her mouth while spinning the chair at high speeds.
So it was that when Biohaz stepped dramatically into the room, he was greeted only by complete chaos. Mediancat moonwalked past him, happily singing. Biohaz carefully sidestepped the pigpile of slowly suffocating writers, and studiously ignored TJ's screams of, "No, please! Not those Goddamned pink flamingoes AGAIN!!" Hanging his coat up, Biohaz started to look for a seat when he heard a soft whimper for help. Dropping his gaze to the closet floor, he was surprised to see John Jones, partially concealed by the huge doberman pincher that was using him as a seat cushion. Noting the dog's impressive set of teeth, Biohaz backed up, and almost bumped into Anya, who was reaching Mach 4 on the swivel chair. Biohaz made it without further incident to the couch, where he sat. Pulling out his laptop, he began to Spellcheck his latest story. Ten minutes later, he was about halfway through the second paragraph, and people were starting to pull themselves together.
Slowly, those in the pile untangled themselves and found their seats again. Violater and Kirbyclause took seats on opposite sides of the room, and settled on a glaring match. Mediancat's song was drawing to a close, so after a final verse of:
"Chickenman hold my hand
Chickenman hold my hand."
he returned to his seat, but found it occupied by Biohaz. Not wanting to make a spectacle of himself, he plunked down on the other end of the couch, next to Violater. Joel managed to coax the doberman off of John, and the two perched themselves on an end table that looked relatively sturdy. Anya was starting to see through time, and so stopped spinning. MeK was absorbed in looking through the writer's bookshelf (which contained a lovely selection of sci-fi and fantasy books), and so didn't notice when Stone Cold started looking through her wallet for spare change. Jeanie and the writer finished brushing each other off, having somehow ended up on the bottom of the pile, and getting both squashed and dusty in the process.
The writer stumbled to the front of the room, pausing only to snag a can of Sprite out of the cooler. Ignoring the looks that all assembled gave her witch's streak, which was sticking straight up, she gave the same plot outline that had been included in the post, but this time added that all the Sunnydale residents had called a general cease-fire for this one night only, so that they could focus all of their attention on the visiting fanficers. A few of the writers exchanged worried glances, but all were too excited over the prospect of visiting the Bronze to mull over the situation that brought them there.
There was a quick carry-on check, and most pulled out crosses and stakes, but things got interesting when the writer checked the last two fanficers. Kirbyclause pulled out a small wire cage containing two genetically-altered mice. At the sight of these mice, several people clapped, Violater and John groaned, and Stone Cold started muttering something dire. Next, Violater emptied his pockets, and the coffeetable soon looked like a stand at an anarchist's bazaar. Both Mediancat and Biohaz quietly moved their seats, so Violater now had the whole couch to himself.
The writer stood up to deliver the safety instructions, but was interrupted when Windrider crashed into the room. With TJ and Biohaz restraining Jeanie from immediately throttling him, the writer summed up the three page warning label in just one sentence.
"Oh, by the way, a few months ago, Willow hooked up a few links to the Archive, and everyone there has read all of the stories we've written."
At this, everyone froze, and looks of pure fear began to show on the faces of many. TJ bolted for the door so fast that a sonic boom was created, knocking over Kirbyclause and Anya. Everone else was close behind. However, they soon realized that the writer had been talking to Ford again, and had copied his door idea. With a happy bounce, the writer pulled out her modified VCR remote, and opened a gate to Sunnydale. Everyone chose to ignore the fact that she had clearly stolen the whole gate idea from Sliders.
No one seemed overly eager to be the first to jump, so Anya bravely shoved her high priest through. Kirbyclause went through next, propelled by a kick to the rear delivered by Violater, who got jostled through when Jeanie went for Windrider's throat. Windrider jumped for it, and knocked Anya, Mediancat, and John with him as he fled Jeanie's wrath. Jeanie went after him, with Joel still valiently trying to hold her back. MeK stepped lightly through, followed by TJ. Realising that the writer had *no* intention of following, Stone Cold grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and dragged her through.
Behind them, the gate snapped shut, leaving an empty room, several bags of empty Sprite cans, a few bowls of popcorn, and a rather confused dog.