First Place

"Dru, wake up! I just had this horrible dream that somebody put a chip in my head and I had a crush on Buffy and those bloody Scoobies were treating me like a pet and I was sleeping with some bleached blonde tart and...oh, bloody hell."
~Pete

"Hi, folks. Actually, I'm not having a nightmare. This is just a cheap opportunity to show off my chest to the female viewers. Don't look at me like that. Boreanaz does this all the time."
~Pete

Second Place

*GASP* All this time, all this confusion. Only now do I realize my true feelings, my true purpose. I don't love Buffy, I want to *be* Buffy. I may be a man on the outside, but inside I'm all woman. I wonder where Harmony got that nighty, maybe they'll have one in my size...
~Psy_sigh

Third Place

Angel! This isn't how it looks.
~Anyte

The EW! Award

Bloody Slayer.... Now I've gotta wash the bloody sheets again...
~Daevanus

They Appealed To My Ego

How To Get Robyn Really Angry At You, Lesson Two:
"Zzzz...I love you, Robyn... AHHHH! Oh, no...oh, GOD no!"
~Pete

Hey, It's True

After last month's girl-on-girl-action caption contest, the female captioneers demanded this scene.
~Pete

Spoke Too Soon, Eh? Award

Wow...Robyn updated!
~Claire

Our Theme

"I just don't understand it."
"*sigh* Look, it's very simple, Spike. The monks took the key to whatever it was and turned it into a teenage girl. Then, they altered reality so that the girl became Buffy's sister, Dawn. However, that tear in reality is causing people to go insane all around her, and it might have caused Joyce's brain tumor too. Also, Intern Ben is Glory's brother, and he's the one who summoned the Queller demon. Got it?"
"I...I guess...but what about the Initiative? What happened to them?"
"Go to sleep, Spike."
~Pete

"So she's not a demon."
"No."
"But there was all that stuff about her being a demon."
"Right."
"Foreshadowing and all that."
"Uh-huh."
"But...she's not a demon."
"Apparently not."
"It's just that her family wanted to control her."
"Yeah."
"Whedon's on the crack again, isn't he?"
"Go to sleep, Spike."
~Pete

"Spike, go to sleep."
"Look, just explain it to me one more time. Now, he's unbreakable, right, but if he gets wet that's, like, kryptonite to him? How the hell does that work?"
"Go to *sleep*, Spike."
"And what the hell was up with Samuel L. Jackson's hair?"
"GO TO SLEEP, SPIKE!"
~Pete

Honorable Mention

I hate it when this happens.
~Claire

"Duuuude. I, like, seriously can't remember what I did this weekend. Who's this chick?"
~Holli

Dear God, not another Caramel and Cream Angel Dream!
~Loo Thompson

That's the last time I eat McDonald's flavored blood.
~Daniel Vega

"Ahh! Football practice!"
~Pete

"Zzz...huh? Whatsamatter, Spikey?"
"Weird dream. You don't think Willow and Tara make a good couple, do you?"
~Pete

"*sigh* No, Spike, there are no evil clowns under your bed."
"You didn't check! You have to check! There might be one down there!"
~Pete

Oh spit. I forgot to take out the trash. Harm is gonna kill me.
~Daniel Vega

This month's contest