Title: Missing, Presumed Death
Author: Arymede the Drunken Butterfly
E-mail: qwixyi@yahoo.com
Part: 13/?


"So, what happens when we turn Larry into the newest Hanson brother? And doesn't that conflict with the best interests of humanity?" asked Oz, displaying a capacity for words no one ever thought he possessed.

Except Irv, of course, being the Omniscient, All-Powerful, All-Round Greatness that he was.

"Well, he turns into a girly man, with long blond hair, runs off to join his kind, and during their next recording session, the addition of that one more voice frequency shatters the glass in the room, killing them all instantly. Except Larry, he survives with amnesia, gets a sex change, and goes to Boise, where he gets it on with some schmoe name Percival."

"Ah." Oz nodded sagely, relapsing into his non-verbal state.


"So, we've got teams, we've got equipment, now we needa court."

Angel spoke up. "I know a court down on Eighth that'sclosed on Tuesdays."

Willow looked puzzled. "So? Today's Friday."

"That's nice. Why don't we head over to the sports centre on the other side of town? It's cheap," Xander said. Heads nodded in agreement.

Satan tossed his keys to Angel. "Here. Use my car."

All that being decided, Angel, Buffy, Giles, Xander, Willow, Death, and a drunk zombie all managed to squeeze into Satan's black Cadillac convertible. The zombie was singing the Oscar Meyer wiener song.

~Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener~
~That is what I'd truly like to be~
~For if I were an Oscar Meyer wiener~
~Everyone would be in love with meeeee~

The song hit Angel's angst button square on (you know, the one behind his left kneecap), and he sighed angstily.

"Nice car!" yelled Xander, as they drove away, rather rockily, as Angel hadn't had his licence updated since 1847.

"Yeah, but why do I get the feeling it should be teal?" came Angel's voice, just before they crashed into a parked garbage truck.

It was then decided that Buffy would drive.


On the outskirts of Sunnydale, a black car with even blacker windows drove over the already totalled "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign. The door opened, and an angry voice yelled "Hey! Who wrecked the sign? That's *my* job!" Spike climbed out of the car.

"C'mon, luv. Welcome home." He opened the passenger door, and helped out his one and only love, Miss Edith.

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