"Yeah, what's with the cookie thing?" Xander was truly perplexed.
"THEN YOU MAKE A TRAIL OF COOKIES... ARROWROOTS WORK BEST, BUT OREOS WILL DO IN A FIX... AND THE ZOMBIES FOLLOW THE TRAIL STUFFING THEIR FACES WITH THE COOKIES. ONCE THE COOKIES ARE DIGESTED, WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THAT THE COOKIES ARE LIKE HAPPY PILLS... THEY'LL BE SO BUSY DANCING AND CONTEMPLATING THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THEIR HAND, THEY WON'T HAVE TIME FOR MAKING MISCHIEF."
"Speed for Zombies? Yikes!" Buffy exclaimed.
"Hey, at least we know why Adam was so frisky at your welcoming home party this September."
"Yeah Will, The crate of Twinkies he brought with him had nothing to do with it..." Xander teased.
"ACTUALLY ADAM BRAWSLY WAS NOT A ZOMBIE THEN, HE GOT HIT AND IMPALED BY A FLYING BOOT TWO WEEKS AFTER THAT PARTY OF YOURS. RATHER A WASTE OF GOOD ITALIAN LEATHER IF YOU ASK ME. GIVEN ANOTHER MONTH THE BOY WOULD HAVE DRUNK HIMSELF TO DEATH... HAD AN EXCESSIVE WATER RETENTION PROBLEM THAT ONE..."
"Uhh ohh, you think his *reminiscing* is a bad sign, or a good one?" Buffy discretely questioned her friends."
"I HEARD THAT!!!!!!!!!!"
"I will do what I can but please call me Giles, everybody else does. Besides, Mr. Giles is my father."
Giles offered Fate a seat and a cup of tea, then proceeded to show her his logs of the deaths and causes thereof in recent years in Sunnydale.
"Ohh, and of course there was Herr Kinderstod, the *Child Death*, he was responsible for the deaths of at least eight children last year."
"Yes, I've heard all about Kinderstod, seems all Death can talk about is the sorry sod who keeps 'riding his coattails'! That's one demon who has indirectly given me a lot of grief." Fate, irked, proceeded to complain about Death's many faults, yet it was obvious to the outside observer that she was not merely angry with the entity.
"Well, Buffy, um, slew Herr Kinderstod. She managed to see him and to kill him before he claimed any more young victims." Giles interrupted.
"You mean he's gone?" Fate asked. "YES! One less headache! Lets get down to work Mr. Giles."
The Archangel Michael looked down from Heaven and groaned at what he saw. "At this rate they'll never find out why the death toll of Sunnydale is higher than the entire East coast combined...I should have sent someone more reliable... Perhaps St. Peter. He's been guarding the pearly gates for a couple of millennia, with only one vacation, coincidentally the week that Josef Stalin packed it in... How he managed to get past Fate and Death as they were filling in for Peter... Probably the same reason all those people drowned on the Titanic. Now if they hadn't been so engrossed in each other..."
Calgon, take me away....